What you value is what you do – the first step to make change happen
One of the first steps in the application of change starts with reality. This is what we call the how of change. If you’re honest about your current reality as a starting point, your chances of successful change are greater. It’s a tricky topic, and sometimes difficult to accept, but it’s essential to change.
At MC4C, values aren’t a list of aspirational desires you see framed in the foyer of your offices, we believe that what you value is what you do.
If you say you value exercise, but never exercise – then that value is not true for you. It’s not right or wrong, it just is.
If you say you love spending time gardening, but haven’t gardened in months, – that’s not a true value for you. Its not right or wrong, it just is.
If you say you value watching foreign films, but you haven’t watched one in months – that’s not a true value for you. It’s not right or wrong, it just is.
We use time as an entry point for seeing what we value:
- What you do with your time…. What you value is what you do
- How you are being in this time… What you value is how you do what you do
We look for what you value in what you do and how you are being.
This outlook on values moves you beyond what is good or bad, right or wrong. It helps you to see the truth, both in your actions and inner emotional state.
Most of us would not think that anything we perceive as negative could be of value to us. Naming some of these values is the best way to learn to see and accept what you value.
Some examples (do what you value and be what you value):
- If you spend time in meetings, you value meetings even if they are something you dislike or say you don’t value. (do)
- If you spend time on the old computer application, then you value the old system regardless of what you think, feel or desire. (do)
- If you are angry and defensive, you value anger and defensiveness. (be)
- If you are disillusioned and confused about the change, you value it/being disillusioned or confused. (be)
- If you are doing the new work, you value it. If you are not doing the new work, you value that too. (do)
- If you are avoiding the change (procrastination), you value (procrastination) avoiding the change. (be)
Look at what you do with your time related to a current change process. Regardless of whether you think it is right or wrong, see what you value and say it out aloud.
“I value…” – speak out your personal value that seems negative or wrong.
Some value statements from our team:
“I value swimming in the sea daily.” “I value snacking.”
“I value walking on the mountain.” “I value working.”
“I value treating people with respect” “I value my own rights.”
“I value time with my family.” “I value working late and on weekends”
Most of us would like to believe that we value only the good, the true, and the beautiful. But this perception limits our capacity to change.
Change requires the ability to see both sides of our stories. Our resistance to this is at the heart of the age-old problem of self-deception.
When designing MC4C over ten years ago, we found that the key to helping people undergo successful change, was to enable them to see their self-deception and resistance to an upcoming change. VALUE became the word that most assisted us in our quest to help people see their starting point in a change journey.
We need to develop the capacity to see both the good and the bad in what we value and do, while at the same time maintaining a constructive outlook.
Self-deception takes us away from a realistic starting point to the change, and any current or future change becomes more difficult when you start with an incorrect assumption.
The word VALUE has come to our aid. It helps us to see what we are really doing and not what we think or feel we are doing.
Having facilitated thousands of people though the MC4C process, we have seen that this is where people get stuck. It can be difficult to accept existing values. People can get resistant and defensive, blocking change.
So, to remind you: “what you value” can also be something negative or something you think or feel you do not value. It is okay.
Seeing value as simply an action in time and not as a belief or feeling, reduces deception.
What you value is not necessarily right or wrong, but to what you do with your time each day. Where you invest your time, is what you value. And what you are not changing, you are choosing.
This way of seeing value helps cuts through any deceptions or unrealities that relate to change. You change by doing something new or different, not by changing an idea or a feeling.
If your business has a clear idea of what it wants to change, but has got stuck in the implementation phase, it’s time to check what you value and find the right starting place for the necessary change.
If you’d like to chat about your change needs, get in touch with us on: firstname.lastname@example.org
Photo by Kamil Pietrzak on Unsplash